03 / video

[onlysurvivor]

This is supposed to allow us to contact others from home now? Just for today?

[he clears his throat]

All right. If you're listening, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you everything and that I had to die to make it work. I know you've heard this from OreSeur while he looked like me. I know it's not quite the same but it was the best I could do.

You'll make the world green again. I just wish I could be alive to see it.

Comments

[godsays]

You were willing to be cruel for Elend. I was willing, for my father.

[indispensible]

And for yourself.

[godsays]

Because I wanted to be free. I didn't want to be used anymore.

[indispensible]

So you used me.

[godsays]

What choice did I have?

[indispensible]

A smarter one.

[godsays]

My father would've had me killed.

He tried to.

[indispensible]

But you beat him.

[godsays]

I beat his assassins. Him, I -

Couldn't.

I told him to wait until the koloss attacked. To take the city, after. I thought if I left him with that, didn't kill him even when he tried to kill me, even when he offered to make me his heir... that maybe he would regret it. Maybe I would be the better person.

It was right before I went to you.

[indispensible]

[She watches him for a very long moment, trying to decide something. Then she glances away.]

Maybe, for a minute, you were.

[godsays]

Then why does it keep feeling like I was just weak?

For not leaving him sooner. For not killing him.

For loving him.

[indispensible]

[She doesn't look back, yet.]

Because you're stupid.

[godsays]

I manipulated you, didn't I?

[ he is not stupid B( ]

[indispensible]

[She looks down.]

You're stupid about some things.

Love is a . . . necessary weakness.

[godsays]

Necessary, that I let him own me for so long?

[indispensible]

[Words are difficult. She frowns.]

Necessary . . . it's inescapable. You need it, that weakness, in order to be strong. But you have to be weak and - get weakness back - to have strength.

Some people escape it completely. [Like Straff.] But they're not people at all.

[godsays]

[ A long moment of silence. Zane looks gutted. In pain. He doesn't understand any of this, and his mind turns off whenever he tries to encompass it all.

Softly: ]

I hurt you.

[ He's working up to it. To an apology. It's the most difficult thing he's ever done. ]

[indispensible]

[She watches him, wary. She killed him. She saw him dead. She saw Kelsier dead, too. Though it doesn't show, she's overwhelmed. A touch frightened.]

[So she watches.]

You almost broke me.

[godsays]

I know.

I think... it's why I'm here.

I think it's the worst thing I ever did.

[indispensible]

[Her eyes narrow. What does he want?]

[godsays]

I'm sorry.

[ Two tiny and utterly inadequate words. He hates himself even more for having said them. ]

[indispensible]

[Emotions pass across her face too quickly, muddled and off-kilter. Confusion, suspicion, disbelief, anger - a lot of it - and, finally, the briefest flicker of sorrow.]

You should be.

[It's vicious, defensive. Striking out at an unexpected attack. But she stops.]

But you . . . weren't.

[godsays]

I've had to think about things here.

[indispensible]

How long?

[godsays]

Months.